‘I don’t want to carry on’: How to cope with tough times as an entrepreneur

Originally sent exclusively to The Letter subscribers on July 29. Want to be the first to get my personal newsletter in your inbox every Monday at 7am? Subscribe for free here.

It’s true: I have a larger dose of positivity than most, and I can put on a show.

We can all put our "face" on when we need to.

I get through and deal with things more than most. Well, I think I do.

But it’s also true that I have days when I don’t want to do it anymore (fleeting — maybe one day a month).

On those days, I go home early and go to bed. I’m talking before 3pm. I down tools (the phone) and lie in my bed, with a Kit Kat and a cuppa (Yorkshire Gold tea bags - must be Gold as it's stronger and packs much better flavour - with 1 sugar and always made with blue milk). 

Silence is my friend here. I’m aware that I am mere moments away before the family comes home, and I have to be “on” for my darlings. 

I get home early on the rare days that get to me, so I can fall into the abyss of thinking - and feel sorry for myself (20 minutes of self-pity allowed).

Then, my brain, which works faster than normal, thinks… “How will I get through this current storm?”

Some weeks, I deal with more challenges than people face in a lifetime. 

My wife often asks, “How do you cope?” 

The funny thing is she knows about 5% of what I deal with — not because I keep secrets, but so much happens. We’ve reached the stage where buying a property or business is boring and not worth discussing. 

We’ve had conversations about things she didn’t know I owned because they've come up in conversation. It’s really bizarre.

Mrs S gets frustrated by life’s small irritants, like being late and my saying, “What are we doing again?”

I don't. I'm dealing with how I’m going to get that £2 million contract over the line, pay these new wage rises, and handle shipping container prices going through the roof, along with recessions and rising interest rates akin to loan sharks. (Can you believe the base rate was nearly 0?)

As I write today, I have to find an extra 100k a month to stand still compared to 18 months ago because of inflation, wages and interest rates.

Money, fortunately, does solve most problems. If you have plenty of it, all issues then become irritants.

I’ll take irritants over issues, any day of the week.

No matter how much I’ve got, shipping container prices going through the roof will always irritate me.

I get over irritants much quicker than most. I’ve learned that “C'est la vie” works well here. Others let irritants dwell for far too long. 

For a happy life, you must learn to get over irritants so the world gives you issues.

If you can solve issues, you’re powerful; a better word is "effective". Effective people - rare that they are - are the gold dust that solves the world’s problems. Even a handful of these gems working for you can catapult your business. 

Remember, effective people are drawn to work for effective people - work on yourself, over your business.

Issues are serious, and you have to be on your A-game to deal with them. Irritants waste time. Be careful how much time you give them; squash them quickly, so you can address issues.

When tough times come, your ability to cope is paramount.

Here’s what I do:

• Walk among trees.

• Get friends who are ahead of you.

• Get a notepad and write down your list of problems.

I’ve noticed that, as soon as you start addressing things, you overcome them. It’s like exercise — putting your trainers on is the first hurdle to overcome. The first rep is the hardest, and then it gets easier.

The same is true of awkward meetings, letting a team member go, or addressing an issue you have with someone. The pent-up pressure to deal with it causes stress.

Meeting someone in person or picking up the phone to talk things through trumps sending a text or email, which is what everyone else does. When you send a text or email, it irritates the receiver, leading to more emails and texts, which results in issues. Picking up the phone or meeting saves time and stress.

I have learned to face things head-on and encourage you to do the same. Get better at meeting face to face instead of sending another pointless email. You’ll know, as I do, that pulling off that plaster is the thing to do.

Recently, I sent an email to one of my closest external advisors (one of my bank managers) because I wasn’t happy about something. I sent a text to say it was coming, as I had to put it in writing. I couldn’t just address this over the phone. Then, I quickly called them to ensure it wouldn’t blow up and become an issue between us.

They were unhappy with its contents, so I picked up the phone every day to repair our relationship. We’re also meeting face to face.

The stress of not speaking on good terms would have created too many scenarios in my mind. I alleviated that stress by making the call. The more you communicate, the more things thaw.

• Head-on conversations work.

• Meeting face to face works.

• Picking up the phone works.

The bigger the challenge, the more important that is.

Be very wary of solving problems over email.

A little extra

I have often spoken about rare and protected forms of leverage that give people an advantage in business. I am absolutely going to write a book about this. 

While driving along today, the crisp sunshine put me in a reflective mood. I thought about another form of leverage that comes up more often than not: that chance meeting with an individual who gives you an opportunity weighted in your favour, mainly because they believe in you. They see something in you.

I have been listening to some great podcasts recently, including a discussion with Deborah Meaden talking about her Dragon's Den investments and a chance meeting she had when she was 20. I say “chance meeting” but in reality, entrepreneurs find ways to make that chance happen. 

Deborah made the trip to Knightsbridge (from her home in Taunton) to see if she could meet the MD of a company she wanted to franchise with. She got on the train, made the trip, and asked. Luck came when the MD believed in her and let her pay later for stock, thus giving her a cash flow advantage.

Hard work pays dividends if you play the right moves.

My plea to entrepreneurs or those in power: if you come across someone who has potential—maybe a customer, supplier, or connection—trust them more than you should from time to time. That MD who believed in Deborah made a real difference in her life.

I’ve encountered many people like that - such as a bank manager who has convinced his boss to authorise a loan when I didn't have enough security, or a supplier who has let me pay over time. Good people.

Deborah has been on 20 seasons of Dragon's Den. How many investments do you think she’s made?

Have a ponder. I’ll answer that next time.

Until then, to your continued success,

P.S. I have been thinking about effective people for a while now. This quote sums up a good and effective person. It's a brilliant philosophy to live by:

"The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit."